Moving On
The process of letting go and moving on is a scary one, you feel like you are suddenly thrusted into this new space and navigating it becomes distressing. No matter what it is, a job, a relationship, a friendship, a new city its all pretty much the same. You go through stages of "grief" before you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That light may seem non-existent at first but the further you walk or crawl the closer you get to it. I have recently come to identify with these stages and I tell you it has been a journey. These stages have not been researched, tried and tested o, so don't go quoting me but I believe we can identify with some of these.
Relief/Excitement: At first you might feel like a load has been lifted off your shoulders, like phew!!!! aii glad that's over. This can be most especially if it has been an anticipated move, you are relived that the deed has been done. Now you can start the process of starting something new or just relaxing.
Fear/Doubt: A few days or weeks pass and there is this lump in your throat. What the heck have I done? Did I make the right choice? Should I have fought more? Did I jump the gun on this one? This might occur as a result of unrealistic expectations, your new reality is not at all like you imagined. The uncertainty of the future causes doubt and that turns into fear, the trick in this stage is not to allow this influence our decision and cause us to revert. In some cases there is no going back so you try not to get stuck.
Sadness/Tears: Now comes the waterworks!!!!!!! Oh no, we weren't expecting this, I didn't expect to cry but boy did I. Emotions that have been bottled up while trying to stay strong through the process comes pouring down. The funny thing though is sometimes the tears come through unrelated events. It might be a tv commercial, a rough day at work, breaking your favorite mug or a broken nail, when them tears coming a knocking there is no hiding. Tears are synonymous with sadness but I have chosen a different synonym, tears to me is a cleaning/cleansing process (think spring cleaning). A way of clearing out the debris in my eyes so I can see the bigger picture. There is a certain release that comes after a good cry and the nap OMG!!!!! amazing, I can go as far as to say the best nap ever.
Acceptance: After all is said and done you adjust into your new life, your new role and you keep it moving. You realize life is filled with the good the bad and the ugly and the combination of all these is the magic we all live in. You take on new challenges head on and you patiently await the miracle life has to offer.
The process will not be smooth sailing I can assure you but don't lose hope, doing a few things can make it a bearable process.
Finally, fake it till you make it!!!!!! We all are :)
Relief/Excitement: At first you might feel like a load has been lifted off your shoulders, like phew!!!! aii glad that's over. This can be most especially if it has been an anticipated move, you are relived that the deed has been done. Now you can start the process of starting something new or just relaxing.
Fear/Doubt: A few days or weeks pass and there is this lump in your throat. What the heck have I done? Did I make the right choice? Should I have fought more? Did I jump the gun on this one? This might occur as a result of unrealistic expectations, your new reality is not at all like you imagined. The uncertainty of the future causes doubt and that turns into fear, the trick in this stage is not to allow this influence our decision and cause us to revert. In some cases there is no going back so you try not to get stuck.
Sadness/Tears: Now comes the waterworks!!!!!!! Oh no, we weren't expecting this, I didn't expect to cry but boy did I. Emotions that have been bottled up while trying to stay strong through the process comes pouring down. The funny thing though is sometimes the tears come through unrelated events. It might be a tv commercial, a rough day at work, breaking your favorite mug or a broken nail, when them tears coming a knocking there is no hiding. Tears are synonymous with sadness but I have chosen a different synonym, tears to me is a cleaning/cleansing process (think spring cleaning). A way of clearing out the debris in my eyes so I can see the bigger picture. There is a certain release that comes after a good cry and the nap OMG!!!!! amazing, I can go as far as to say the best nap ever.
Acceptance: After all is said and done you adjust into your new life, your new role and you keep it moving. You realize life is filled with the good the bad and the ugly and the combination of all these is the magic we all live in. You take on new challenges head on and you patiently await the miracle life has to offer.
The process will not be smooth sailing I can assure you but don't lose hope, doing a few things can make it a bearable process.
- Surround yourself with love, you'll have a new appreciation for friends and family.
- Do things that make you happy, anything no matter how "stupid" it sounds/looks
- Sing, dance, go shopping or exercise (the gym can be therapeutic)
- Call a long lost friend
Finally, fake it till you make it!!!!!! We all are :)
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