P.S.A
This is PSA to the men out there, most especially those who have have fallen in love with a woman before ever saying hi to her, please stop it!!!!!!.
Ok well maybe not stop it but brah get a grip. I don't mean to sound insensitive but when you finally approach her and in a matter of days open the flood gates of emotion don't be surprised if she runs the other way. How would you feel if a woman did that to you? It's too much abeg!!!!
To crown it all after rejection you make the woman feel guilty for your emotional recklessness, wheretheydothatat!. How do you go from hello to soul mates in three-five days, biko this is not a naija movie.
For those in this category and want genuine help I'm here for you . Let me guide you from a woman's perspective. (Not a one size fit all guide o)
1. Don't tell her who've been eyeing her for months now (at least not the first time/week you speak), sounds creepy.
2. Do make your first conversation general and interesting. Leave her wanting more.
2b. You can drop hints to let her know you like her. Compliment something, it does wonders.
3. Don't bombard her with messages intermittently, give her a few minutes to reply or not reply to the first one.
4. Do leave one or two days in between conversations. Hitting her up everyday can become irritating. (Let her miss the stranger that just started talking to her )
5. Do not, I repeat do not go a whole week with saying something. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder in this case.
6. Do try to schedule a casual meet up/date, most preferably the following week after initial conversation.
7. DO NOT CALL HER BABE, SWEETIE, DEAR OR BAE after only few days/week. Preferably leave those words till yall are official.
8. DO NOT ASK HER TO SEND YOU A PICTURE. Automatic turn off, what are you people thinking sometimes sef....smh
9. Do have something interesting to talk about. Most introverts ain't gonna do the talking cos they don't know you like that, extroverts..... now those ones will talk your ears off.
10. Do take things slow but not too slow either. Take cues from her response and use that as a guide.
Finally if you've gotten green light from her in regards to feelings then you can slowly reveal how long you've had a crush but still restrain on the depth. It's nice to know a man has had a crush on you for a min but creepy to know he's been watching your every move and can tell you what you wore to church three Sundays ago.
P.S
If all fails, cut your losses and move on. In addition please don't make her feel guilty, not all women are out to crush your spirit, we know it ain't easy approaching us.
If all fails, cut your losses and move on. In addition please don't make her feel guilty, not all women are out to crush your spirit, we know it ain't easy approaching us.
P.S.S
My triple P's: Purpose, Patience and Persistence are virtue.
If you are convinced that this is the woman for you, pull back reset and fire. It might take a few tries for her to come around.
Goodluck guys, thank me later ;) ;)
Finally I can respond! It's about time mehn! Now on to the discussion:
ReplyDeleteNow I respect and even agree with a lot of your points on making comments/moves toward the opposite sex but you have to realize how vague these comments are. For example, tip 10, take things slow but not too slow? ....... what the heck that mean? I know the point your trying to unveil but you must realize for us guys we have to almost literary guess when to make moves and 50% of the time were either too early or late.... our job is tough!
Lol, yes I had the give touch.
DeleteYalls job is definitely difficult but also easy. Like I added to that last point, take cues from her. You can tell if a girl is feeling you depending on her response to your advances. The scenario I can see where you might be off is if a girl is trying to be nice and you mistake it for interest. But in most cases, a girl who is interested with allow you in and let you know how to pace things. Girls have to also learn to be vocal about what they want/interest. And to end all guessing games you can just be direct and ask her.
Lol, yes I had the give touch.
DeleteYalls job is definitely difficult but also easy. Like I added to that last point, take cues from her. You can tell if a girl is feeling you depending on her response to your advances. The scenario I can see where you might be off is if a girl is trying to be nice and you mistake it for interest. But in most cases, a girl who is interested with allow you in and let you know how to pace things. Girls have to also learn to be vocal about what they want/interest. And to end all guessing games you can just be direct and ask her.
If only it were that easy! "Just follow her cues......." That is reason why it's difficult! As you said, women should be more direct but honestly I don't think it would matter. Usually responses/actions a woman wants are wrapped around by a host of tricks and obstacles that we men must untangle till we get to the center of the true message! No woman I know just comes out and says what she wants.....why is that.....I dunno! Just asking what the proper way to go about things can work for some situations but not all, in fact I dare say that it can be a deterrent to progressing a relationship that is new. Yup, you ladies can be too much, just saying!
Delete